i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
