It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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