After last night, I could never be a politician.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
