people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We have started to decorate penises.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
