My friends, they love my intelligence
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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