so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
