where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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