she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
time to smoke my breakfast
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
