Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize