i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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