you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
