Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
