I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
