Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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