If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
