I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
