I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I understand Curling. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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