DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
