Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
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