Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My liver just had a heart attack.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
