Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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