While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
