We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
