my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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