You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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