we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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