I wish i was in the wii world.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
