there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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