So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
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If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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