Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
