It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
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the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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