every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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