I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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