Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
