That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
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