I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
