I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
