In the future we'll all be gay
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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