So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
