I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
