if you like me you must not know who I am
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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