She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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