in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
