Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
