I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
