I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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