The brown eye won't let me do that either.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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