And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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