hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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