I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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