I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
