Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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