I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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