My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
it glows. i had to have it.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
