you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
