About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
