i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
