what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
