Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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