All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Randomize
