I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
