Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
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He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
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There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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