can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize