so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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