I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
