Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
