i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
